This is a story that could be reminiscent, funny, unfortunate, scary… but all true. It’s a quest for something that potentially exists yet may never be endured.

An online “advice” column insures the perfect kiss is achieved through a 6-step process. It promises that if followed precisely you will be soaring through the clouds in a steamy, dreamy haze in as much time as it takes for a spaceship to launch.


  1. Getting cleared for takeoff
  2. Final instrument check
  3. Down the runway
  4. Gaining momentum
  5. We have liftoff!
  6. Cruising altitude
  7. Houston we have a problem (troubleshooting)

These steps are demonstrated visually by a generic couple who seemingly have nothing more then a platonic chemistry. I don’t trust those who compare kissing to aerodynamics, it seems too “mechanical” and in my personal experience “spontaneity” makes for a much more passionate pash. This spawns the question, does a RIGHT-minded person rival the performance of a LEFT-minded person when it comes to the quality of a swoon-worthy lip-lock?

uses feeling, “big picture” oriented, imagination rules, symbols and images, present and future, philosophy & religion, can “get it” (i.e. meaning), believes, appreciates, spatial perception, knows object function, fantasy based, presents possibilities, impetuous, risk taking.

uses logic, detail oriented, facts rule, words and language, present and past, math and science, can comprehend, knowing, acknowledges, order/pattern perception, knows object name, reality based, forms strategies, practical, safe.

I’m on a mission to find out…